Beyond his Time by Adrian Cousins

Author:Adrian Cousins [Cousins, Adrian]
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

9

Bad Manners

Whilst the indecipherable loud chatter continued, which emanated from all tables that flanked ours, the three of us just shot looks at each other after Beth had trotted out two more somewhat odd expletives. The ‘fuck’ bit I understood. The remainder of her verbalisation of surprise was a complete mystery.

“So, do you know Jessica Redmond, then?” I asked, keen to know if she was the same person as my daughter but also to break the gawping spell Beth appeared to have fallen into.

Beth side-eyed Chris, whose shrug appeared to be a non-verbal approval for her to answer my question.

“She’s our half-sister. Dad’s daughter … your daughter, if you see what I mean.”

“Right. Course she is. This Jess was born on the 17th of June ’56, by any chance?”

“She was. That’s Jess’s birthday,” Chris sombrely affirmed.

“Hell, d’you think this is actually him?” Although she continued to stare at me, I assumed she was talking to her brother. “I mean, the look, the voice, the fact he actually thinks it’s 1976. Him knowing Jess, let alone the Noel Edmond’s look and the David Soul get-up with the retro clothes.”

“It’s got to be him.”

“Jesus, this is mega nuts.”

“Beth … Beth. Listen to this,” Chris shifted forward in his seat. “He thinks he lives in that flat. You know, the one that Carol lived next door to. The one you and I lived in before … well, you know. He actually had a slanging match with some woman who lives there.”

Beth turned from where she’d been studying me like some exotic caged animal and waved her finger at Chris. “He actually thought he still lived there?”

“Yeah,” he chuckled. “He had the right old Harry about it.”

“What did he say to her, this woman?”

“I chased him up the stairwell … well, that’s after he chased this woman, but—”

“Why was he chasing her?”

“No, he wasn’t. Look, it’s getting a bit confusing. He reckoned he got mugged, so he had to nip back to his flat to grab some spare change.”

“Mugged? Mugged by who? Did he say?”

“Err … excuse me, I am here, you know,” I interjected.

“Just be quiet for a moment. Drink your coffee and behave.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but no words formed as she patronisingly patted my hand and offered a whimsical smile before readdressing Chris. “Start from the beginning. What did he actually say when you met him?” Beth grabbed her cup and swigged a mouthful of coffee. Mocha, as Chris called it, whatever that was, whilst her brother launched into a rather enthusiastic recounting of this morning’s events.

As he machine-gunned out the story, interrupted by a few ‘no ways’, the liberally interjected ‘fuck me’ and a couple of ‘amazeballs’ from Beth, I grabbed a saucer from the next table to use as an ashtray and lit up a cigarette.

I hadn’t noticed it earlier, but the cigarette appeared longer than usual, slightly surprised the packet didn’t state King Size. As I plucked up the pack and studied the branding, Chris and Beth continued their overly enthusiastic conversation.

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